In the physical catagory, I gave it four hearts because it gives you really good advice on how to change your external world. In the emotional category, I gave it only two hearts in the emotional category because this particular blog isn't as focused on your emotions. In the social category, I gave this blog only one heart in social, because this blog is focused more on changing yourself than interacting with other people.
Do you know yourself? Really know yourself? Thanks to mirrors you know your hair and eye color, but what about what’s inside? What make you … you? What do you like? Dislike? What makes your heart beat faster? What makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up? What makes you scream impulsively? Why?
Spiders make me scream like a little girl.
Words are powerful! One word in particular is the key to unlock you. The magic word is— why. The word why can change your life. Asking myself why often began to give me a glimpse of me. One day a nasty, black, eight-leg, red-eyed spider, caused me to ask myself a powerful question: Why am I so afraid?
I began to dig deep into my memory. I remembered some crazy stories from my past. In one case from my childhood, I remember almost jumping out of a moving vehicle. Even funnier, I almost stripped my shirt off in Dollywood. But, no matter how hard I thought, I couldn’t remember a story that explained why I started being afraid of spiders in the first place. The memories I did unearth were people screaming, even going so far as to stand on top of tables. I finally decided screaming people taught me to be afraid of spiders. The fear is legitimate, no matter how I obtained it. The real question is: Who am I unintentionally teaching to be afraid of spiders? What else in my life isn’t really me? What else about my life is influencing others negatively?
Discovering the truth about myself, and then letting it vanish in thin air wasn’t enough. Writing the truth on paper was the only thing that worked for me. I might be biased though. I have always love writing. Writing releases stress for me. I began writing my discoveries, feelings, and even some of my prayers in a journal. I don’t write every day, but bit by bit I began to change. I found healing. In my opinion, there are four ways to get to know yourself better.
First, I’m not going to lie, my fingers and toes tingle with excitement when I walk into a bookstore. Rows and rows of books, full of knowledge, waiting to be absorbed by my brain make me really happy. (I plead the fifth, I have no idea how those self-help books ended up at the register with me.) I have to avoid bookstores, it’s a weakness. As much as I love them, no self-help book has totally transformed me. One or two points resonate with me from each book. So much so, that I oftentimes re-read it and take notes or journal my thoughts. I love self-help books!
Second, one of the best decisions I ever made was getting a coach. Friends and family have begun to notice a change in me from coaching. A therapist or coach can help you hone in on issues faster than you could on your own. I would recommend a good one to anyone.
Third, a friend of mine once said, “if I die, go to my house, and destroy my journals. Promise me.” I laughed at the time, but journals should be a place where you are free to write anything and everything. Writing in a journal releases my stress and frustration faster than almost anything. Often I will start out writing about one thing, and it will turn into something completely different. The “something different” is usually what is really bothering. Pouring your heart onto a page can truly change your life.
Fourth, let me introduce you to the newest form of self discovery— guided journaling. Instead of pouring out your heart on paper unfiltered, you take a question and dig really deep for the answer. Have you ever considered why you are afraid of spiders? Why pink is your favorite color? What spot on the planet is your happiest place?
Get up. Go to work. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. Can you relate? For years I felt empty and unfulfilled. I coasted through life. I really didn’t know myself. Have you ever watched Runaway Bride? The gist of the story is, Julia Roberts’ character keeps getting engaged to men only to run away at the altar. With each new fiancé she morphs herself into the perfect woman for him, even down to egg preference. Towards the end of the story, there is a scene where she tries at least eight different kinds of eggs to figure out what she really likes. In the past, I could definitely relate.
Asking myself questions allowed the fog to lift from my brain. I went from drifting along to making goals. Existing on auto play, to having tasks I check off at night. From living for myself, to caring about others.
Asking myself questions allowed me to start living more authentically. In the process I began to love myself.
Words matter. Words are powerful. Words can change things. I am not a counseling guru, but I would love to share with you some of the questions I asked myself. Travel with me down “My Ink Trail” and discover more about yourself through guided journaling.
For Your Journal: Put It In Ink…
How are some ways you could get to know yourself better?
Do you ever do things just because other people expect it?